My New Golf Clubs

My new golf clubs are great (thank you insurance company). Either that or my golfing skills have improved dramatically since I got them. Perhaps it's a bit of both.

Last night's result was 3 pars, 2 bogeys, 3 double bogeys and 1 major fkup where I stopped counting. Now, I give myself 2 on every hole and my scoring index goes like this:

• Double bogey = good,
• Bogey = very good,
• Par = excellent,
• Birdie = Tiger Woods,
• 3 over = could do better.

Last night then was all of these things:

• 89% good (at least)
• 56% very good (at least)
• 33% excellent
• 11% not good

Note the positive spin I place on my stats. Normally I only count holes where I score double bogey or better; there is nothing other than rage and resentment to be achieved by concentrating on the fkups. I only include the fkup hole here in case you think I forgot to play one. I believe that positive mental attitude (PMA) will be the key to my success. Incidentally, I do find PMA very difficult to maintain as I am prone to rage and resentment.

On my last round I had a score which was nearly as good (3 par, 2 bogey, 1 double bogey, 3 fkup). It's all working rather well, but why? My clubs, my PMA, my general wellbeing, happiness and fitness, the cheering colour combo of my yellow bag and red headcovers?

I think there is a balance to be had in golf between remembering to do the things which genuinely improve your play and getting obsessed or superstitious about little things which probably don't make a difference. For example, taking time to make sure your grip is correct is good, but you can take it too far and develop a compulsive habit for adjusting it 5 times before every shot. Then it becomes a distraction and just another thing to blame and stew over when you duff a shot.

Here are some things which are working for me just now:

• Count, talk about and dwell on only the holes where you score well.
• Use the shortest tee you can without placing the ball too low: broken tees cause unnecessary, if tiny, bouts of misery.
• Place the ball on the tee so you can read the logo: this helps me keep my eye on the ball and think of hitting it straight.
• Try to swing within yourself. I heard a man on the range explain this. He meant try to avoiding unbalancing yourself by swing too far out, back, etc. Helps me with hard-to-hit clubs (long irons, fairway woods).
  
• Breath in through the back swing to help focus and swing slowly.
• Stand tall to hit the ball. Don't know why it works but it does.
• Move the putter very slowly and close to the ground.

I do hope they continue to work. I will attempt, according to the advice above, not to post about golf disasters but I can't make any promises...